Free SRA/DID Guide

What Is DID and How Does It Happen?

For those who are friends and family members of someone who has Dissociative Identity Disorder, or DID, you have probably walked a rocky and confusing road with them. It is difficult to understand how to react to someone whose demeanor is so variable and it often seems like there is no help or change in sight. With DID, people’s emotions can change in the blink of an eye. They may seem like they are lying to you at times because they might deny something that they said or did the day, or even moments, beforehand. They may have unexplained illnesses, aches and pains, eyesight changes, diabetes that doesn’t always respond to insulin, and more. Doctors may be mystified as to why people with DID may respond to medication one day but have no change the next. People with DID may also suddenly curl up in a ball like a little child, terrified and crying, or become raging mad and cuss or hit when normally they are very kind. They may even declare that they are a demon or other entity that is not human and act in ways that may make you think they are acting under demonic oppression and not their humanity.

What is important to remember is that DID is more of an injury to the soul, not a mental illness. People cannot become DID unless they had chronic trauma in their lives from the time the Lord breathed them to life through about six to eight years old. The trauma can be of various types and mixtures, from sexual abuse, ritual abuse, neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and more.

When children are chronically abused before the age of eight, the Lord has provided an amazing way for them to survive by compartmentalizing (dissociating) the abuses as well as everyday life. For example, children have an inherent need to bond to their parents. If one or both of those parents is abusive, children are overwhelmed by the conflicting needs that they have, the lack of comfort or answers for what is happening to them, and ultimately, the need to survive. Children must maintain the belief that someone loves them and maintain hope. They must be able to believe their parents love them even while experiencing abuses from one or both of them (or other abusers) day after day.

When children are chronically overwhelmed by abuse, the essence of who they are retreats deep inside, away from life. In order to protect the essence of who they are, God has provided the means for children to perceive their world in a compartmentalized way, with amnesiac walls providing protection from knowing what is too overwhelming for them to both know and survive. Thus, their souls shatter into different parts of their person, each part having some of the mind, will, and emotions in order to survive their abusive environment with the essence of who they are intact.

Children with DID will have parts that can go to school and love their parents. These parts are usually completely amnesiac to the abuses they have suffered because no children can function well at school when they know that when they get home their fathers (or others) are going to abuse them. These are the parts that are “out in the body” most often, having executive control to interact with other people. These parts are often called “presenters,” of which there is usually one main presenter who is “out” and handling daily life the majority of the time.

Besides the need to be functional and believe that they are loved, there is also the need to put anger somewhere, the anger at the injustice of being chronically abused. Thus, other parts are formed that are usually tough, don’t think that they have been abused because “they would never be that weak,” and will stand up to protect themselves if their current situations remind them of the abuses. These angry parts of people get rejected a lot of the time. People have the need to be functional in the world around them and rage doesn’t usually fit with that world. The fact is, the part of the person who is the most angry at God, others, and/or self is part of the core of who the person is and has been doing an important and very heavy job. This part needs to be validated and to be allowed to be “out in the body” to talk, something that he/she has probably never had a chance to do. In survival, anger has served to meet a need for protection and strength, and to hold the anger at injustice. Now, the angry one gets to learn to be present to talk about the reasons she/he is angry.

Finally, there is the little girl (or boy) who God breathed into existence and got so overwhelmed with the abuses that she/he withdrew from life, deep inside, while her/his soul split into parts. This is the essence of who the person is. This is also where the new birth identity is, where she/he is a new creation, no matter what age the person accepted the Lord Jesus. This is the heart of the person which is the most hidden away under all the identities and alters who became the answers that the original little one did not have.

Now, in between these three core parts of the person, there are many other alters and fragments that were spontaneously created through the years to deal with the stresses and/or other abuses that happened in the person’s life.

Walking with Survivors: The Need for the Body of Christ:

People with DID need a community around them in order to heal. If their environment is not safe and stable, it is not safe to take down the dissociative walls that God put in place for their survival. If they don’t have a local assembly to go to where they can be under spiritual headship, it is not time to work on taking down the dissociative walls because healing from DID is a spiritual battle and they need spiritual covering. If they don’t have friends who will listen, encourage, and be patient with them, it is next to impossible to move forward with healing from DID.

In the Body of Christ, we are each other’s brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers. By relying on the life of Christ within us, we can be family to those who probably don’t have much of a family. Since there were chronic abuses in childhood, itusually means that their families are, at least, dysfunctional.

Be an Empathetic Listener

Now we get to the former title of this document: “I Believe You: You’re not Crazy; There’s Hope!” For people with DID, life seems crazy and overwhelming. They don’t understand why people sometimes think they are lying. (Remember, there is complete amnesia between many parts. When the presenter says that she/he wouldn’t do such a thing, she/he is telling the truth of what she/he knows since the amnesiac walls prevent her/him from knowing what another part of her /him did.) In addition, they don’t know why their bodies act certain ways, often having pains and illnesses with no medical explanation. They are confused by their own reactions to things and why they feel different ages at times, or hear a little girl or boy crying inside.

Because living with DID is so overwhelming, survivors need people around them to be stable, good listeners, and empathetic. The process of healing from DID entails people resolving internal conflicts and coming into the truth about their lives as they integrate and gain their humanity back. During the healing process, only bits and pieces of traumatic events come to the surface at one time, like puzzle pieces. This often causes denial and confusion for survivors as well as support people. However, just like putting together a large jigsaw puzzle, each piece can look confusing until the last piece is put in place. Once that happens, the survivor’s entire timeline becomes clear and what was once confusing will make sense.

Another point to remember, is that survivors have lived their lives in a “not me” denial, so it takes time and patience to overcome all the conflicts and fears involved in learning their histories. They need to be believed, need to be able to talk about what is coming up without judgement, and need to be able to share what they are remembering without others trying to “fix” them. Integration happens layer by layer which takes a lot of time, safety, and space to process. People with DID have been through the most horrendous abuses known to mankind, so the process to reverse the damage takes time.

Why Traditional Ministry Methods Don’t Work When DID Is The Issue

Remember how we said earlier that the new birth identity, which is the essence of the person with DID, is the most hidden? All the other parts of the person are spontaneously created in order to protect the person’s essence, the neshamah, where God breathed him or her to life. Traditional counseling methods as well as ministry methods, such as Sozo, TPM, or RTF, are all formatted to work with people who are already connected with themselves, in all of their humanity. In people who are not DID, the essence of who they are is accessible for counseling or ministry.

In contrast, when people with DID come for counseling or ministry, it is usually their Christian presenter who sets the appointment. The Christian presenter knows something is wrong with them but can’t put their finger on what it is. They might be depressed, anxious, have panic attacks, be cutting themselves, or have other symptoms but are unable to say why. During the counseling or ministry session, they may connect with a memory and find a bit of truth and relief, but the only aspect of their person touched in the session is their Christian presenter. The rest of their personhood, of which the presenter has little to no knowledge, is still unreached and hurting. Soon enough, the Christian presenter is back again for more counseling or ministry.

Another problem is that when people’s Christian presenters are trying to connect with traumatic memories, they get overwhelmed and retreat inside. At this point, there comes the need for a tougher part to take over. Often, an angry part is triggered forward. In the angry parts, people with DID may begin to cuss at the counselors or ministers or go silent and brooding. The counselors or ministers may believe that the sweet and passive Christian presenter that they know has been overcome by a demon. At this, they begin to do warfare to cast “it” out. What they fail to realize, however, is that this angry part is part of the person’s humanity… and they are telling that part to leave. Can you imagine being told you are a demon and that you need to leave your own body?

This is not to say there isn’t spiritual warfare that is needed throughout the healing process. However, if counselors and ministers have stood in the victory and authority of the Lord Jesus Christ and commanded everything to leave that will not bow its knee to Jesus, then they can assume the Lord has honored their request. Then they can bless all of the humanity that belongs in that person’s body to be present in Jesus’s name. If the counselor or prayer minister still sees an angry person before them, then they should assume it is the angry part of the person’s humanity who is present. Instead of doing more warfare, they should get ready to listen to that part of the person who has never had an opportunity to process her/his anger.

Again, traditional ministry and counseling methods work well with people who are in touch with their entire humanity. However, these methods cannot possibly touch the entire humanity of people with DID since the essence of who they are is so hidden away. Once the dissociation is dealt with and people have their humanity back with their whole history, then those traditional ministry methods may come into play. Integration happens in stages and over time. The Lord is a patient and good Counselor Who knows the right pace for each survivor.

Why Walk Beside Survivors

In Matthew 22:37, Jesus says the greatest commandment is “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” People with DID are not able to do that since the essence of who they are is tucked away behind layers of trauma and death. The Lord also declares throughout Scripture that “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” [Ps. 147:3] and that “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” [Ps. 34:18]. People with DID have been crushed and broken and the Lord is near. As His Body, the Lord gives us a glimpse of what our part is through the account of Lazarus. When Jesus called Lazarus from the tomb, Lazarus was still bound in grave cloths. Jesus then said to those who were there, “Loose him and let him go.” [Jn. 11:44]. We have that opportunity today, to experience the “power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings” [Phil. 3:10] as we walk beside survivors.

We are the Body of Christ today. As we surrender to Him and whatever He wants to do in and through us, Jesus Christ lives His life and ministers to those around us. Survivors who have DID are the brokenhearted, are wrapped in death from all the trauma in their lives, and need Christ Jesus in His corporate Body to minister the light, life and love of Christ to them as the Lord Himself does the integrating bit by bit.

Finally, Get Ready to Be Disciplined:

The Lord will use every moment for sanctification! The Lord wants the whole of our personhood surrendered to Him, loving Him. He is not content with parts of us or our lives. This is why He disciplines us, treating us as sons in order to sanctify us, removing anything that is not according to the measure of His Son, Jesus Christ. He wants a pure and spotless Bride for His Son. Not only do we have opportunity to hasten the day of His return by walking beside survivors, being a safe and loving family, as the Lord calls them to life, but we also go through an intense sanctification process. Walking with survivors triggers up whatever is uncrucified flesh in ourselves. God uses this for His glory as we submit to His discipline through walking with survivors. He strips off our stinky flesh (grave cloths), as we help unwrap the grave cloths from survivors empowered by His great love, mercy, and grace.

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