Core Issues: Resurrection Life
by Sally Dove
Introduction
In my first two papers, “Idolatry” and “Pride”, my purpose was to set forth our accountability and responsibility before God. That is, to own and accept our own responses to the sin perpetrated upon us and the sin we have perpetrated against others. As I was writing “Idolatry”, I was impressed that God did not leave us in our sinful state, but sent His Son as a one time offering for the atonement of our sin (Rom. 3:24- 25; Eph. 1:7). Jesus Christ came to this earth, lived a sinless, perfect life in His humanity in absolute dependence upon God, died and rose again. The very depth that Jesus Christ experienced and became death for you and me likewise was the very height of His resurrection and continued life for you and me (Eph. 1:19-20). He imparted that resurrection life to us in the moment that we chose Him as Savior (Eph. 1:13- 14). He continually imparts the life of Jesus Christ to us moment by moment through sanctification. Since 1980, when I came back to the Lord, He led me to pursue reading material focused on the value of Jesus Christ’s humanity and His resurrection life, why He created me, and His purpose for us in reigning with Him eternally.
My mind has been saturated in reading Godly material such as T. Austin-Sparks’ books, listening to God’s word presented at church and through many hours of tapes, and seeing the resurrection life in Godly men such as Pastor Wurmbrandt and Major Ian Thomas. For those of us that have been severely programmed with the total antithesis of God’s thoughts, it takes great perseverance and tenacity to overcome the lies and the torment of the temptation of the adversary. It is a must to saturate our minds with God’s thoughts and in a sense deprogram ourselves of the thoughts and intrusions of the enemy. Romans 12:1-2 says “I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect”. Colossians 3:1-2 reminds us that “if then you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind or be intent on the things above, not on the things that are on earth”. In order to learn to take every thought captive, identify the lies, strongholds, and mindsets we have believed, and grow towards maturity, we must have God’s word dwelling richly in our spirit and soul. We once were children of darkness “Whose god is their appetites, and whose glory is in their shame, who set their minds on earthly things. For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ” (Phil. 3: 19-20).
The Study Introduced
This study of the resurrection life of our Lord defines purpose, direction, and goal for us to focus on in order to connect with that same life that resides in every believer so that Jesus Christ can completely be formed in us. I believe that the indwelling life of Jesus Christ was the main reason for the intensity of Satanic attack towards us. All of our defenses have been satanically energized and strengthened to prevent us from ever connecting with that life and living in the very value of the resurrection life of Jesus Christ. Satan trembles at the fact that he was defeated 2000 years ago when Jesus Christ was raised from the dead. Satan knows that if we ever truly come to understand and fully connect with our Original Christian Heart and Identity (OCHI)* internally thus connecting with the resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, he is defeated in our lives. He holds no power over us except to the degree we are not fully living out from that source of the resurrection life. “Submit yourselves, therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). If the enemy is not fleeing from us, we must ask “Why”?
My strongest defense has been to never connect with the origin of the resurrection life of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as represented by the OCHI. Through torture and many death experiences, it was easier to connect with the Jesus that lives in “heaven” perceived to be outside my body and remain dissociated than to face the truth and connect with the true life of Jesus that lives within my OCHI. (Let the reader understand that the OCHI is not represented as a part of oneself, but more fully is the whole essence, the true identity of the person that desired to know Jesus Christ as Savior. This is the heart and essence of the Christian that cried out to know God.) It was also much easier to accept many false Christs and false resurrection experiences rather than connect with the real reason for the abuse: identification with Jesus Christ and a heart to desire to know Him. My life was characterized by thinking that in order to connect with the life of Jesus Christ, I needed to die and be released from this body. And at certain times of my life, it was easier to deny that I was ever a Christian. The magnitude of the abuse, I believe, occurred because I was a Christian and because I desired to know God. The Book of Job provides a biblical framework for this.
It has been revelation to me to see that all that I have ever desired was imparted to me the moment I believed in Jesus Christ as Savior. I need my body and all of me to connect to the life of Jesus Christ that lives within me. I experience love, joy, and peace as I acknowledge that I did say, “Yes” to God. By acknowledging that resurrection life of Jesus Christ within me and connecting with that live, I am empowered against the powers of darkness to stand against the foe and win this battle. I also experience the fullness of the life of the Lord Jesus pouring through me to others. This life of our Lord Jesus Christ living within is the very victory of the Christ life we all need to be overcomers.
As you read the scriptures, make your own notes around your own responses. Ask for facilitation to ultimately connect with that resurrection life within.
Acts 4:10-11
Then know this, you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed. 11He is 'the stone you builders rejected, which has become the capstone.'
We know that true and lasting healing comes from our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead lives within us. (Eph. 1) The enemy has launched an “all-out” attack on that resurrection life that lives and dwells within us, to prevent us from experiencing this overcoming victorious life.
Acts 4:2
They were greatly disturbed because the apostles were teaching the people and proclaiming in Jesus the resurrection of the dead.
Acts 4:33
With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all.
Resurrection life is associated with great power and grace. I believe that it was because of Christ’s indwelling life that the tremendous abuse and attack occurred. And that is the reason for the attack on you. That life draws out the good and the evil of those with whom we are associated. A disturbance was created because the apostles taught the resurrection of the dead. Our programmers tried to “capture” this resurrection life and keep it hidden. But the life of the Lord Jesus Christ cannot be permanently hidden.
Acts 17:32
When they heard about the resurrection of the dead, some of them sneered, but others said, "We want to hear you again on this subject."
The resurrection life of our Lord Jesus Christ divides between those who are mockers and those who are seekers. This was a difficult struggle for me, for deep within was my need to be accepted and to be loved. When we have the life of our Lord Jesus Christ, that life will cause conflict. I have had to learn to accept that when the resurrection life of my Lord Jesus Christ is shining forth, not all will rejoice, but some will mock and sneer.
Acts 24:21
Unless it was this one thing I shouted as I stood in their presence: 'It is concerning the resurrection of the dead that I am on trial before you today.' "
Paul was on trial because of the resurrection of the dead. In a sense, our lives have been on trial in this world: are we going to choose to allow the life of our Lord that lives within be visible or are we going to continue to “hide” it in dissociation? Tom and Diane Hawkins’ 2001 newsletter “Restoration Matters” describes the process of hiding behind denial. Denial is a form of unbelief and denying the resurrection life of our Lord and Savior that lives within. It was because of unbelief that many Israelites died in the wilderness (Heb. 3). Denial or unbelief says that this didn’t happen to me. I have had to face that it was because I did want Jesus Christ as Savior. The resurrection life of Jesus Christ could not be extinguished no matter how horrific the abuse was. Issues of anger and hatred towards God for allowing the terror and horrors to happen because we did have a desire to know Him must be accepted and worked through. As Tom and Diane refer to facing the person that you would be if all of you would be here, I submit that that person is one that did want God and wanted Him fully. It was because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ that we were on trial! By accepting the truth, facing ourselves and the heart that Jesus gave us (Friesen, Wilder, Bierling, Koepcke, & Poole 1999), we will be the person that God created us to be as Christians who were redeemed from idolatry.
1 Cor. 15:12-13
But if it is preached that Christ has been raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? 13 If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised.
1 Cor. 15: 14-17 NAS
And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is vain, your faith also is vain. Moreover we are even found to be false witnesses of God, because we witnessed against God that He raised Christ, who He did not raise, if in fact the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised; and if Christ has not been raised, your faith is worthless; you are still in your sins.
1 Cor. 15:19
If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.
1 Cor. 15:21
For since death came through a man, (Adam) the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man (Jesus Christ).
1 Cor. 15:29
Now if there is no resurrection, what will those do who are baptized for the dead? If the dead are not raised at all, why are people baptized for them?
1 Cor. 15:42-44
So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body.
1 Cor. 15:49
And just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we (let us) bear the likeness of the man from heaven.
Jesus Christ was raised from the dead and is now alive. Satan could not kill Jesus Christ and keep Him in the grave. Satan was defeated at that glorious moment when Jesus cried on the cross “It is finished!” His anger and wrath is now poured out towards the church.
Many have come to know the Lord Jesus Christ as a small child between 15 and 24 months. I believe the reason for the persecution is because as a small child, many have become united with Him in His resurrection life. That life has drawn out the satanic wrath and hatred towards God. If we were not united with Him, then perhaps the degree of our suffering would not have been so great. Because we were just newborn babes in Christ, God did not condemn us for the idolatry and pride and ancestral sin that we continued to carry in our lives. Today, as adults, we as Christians must own and accept the facts of what we have done. As we do, God does not leave us in our sin, but cleanses us (1 John 1:9). The parts of us that were united with Him in His death and resurrection at the moment we believed are the very deepest center of ourselves, which are so protected.
At one time in my life, age 13, I decided that it wasn’t worth all the torture and all the agony and persecution to follow the Lord. So I resigned and believed that I hated God with my whole heart and was doomed to Hell forever. For the next 12 years, I denied the resurrection life that was in me and continued to persecute Christians and torture them. I was acting out what had in reality happened to me as a child. I did not understand Him or understand His ways at age 13. I did not understand persecution. I did not understand that I was united with Him in His death and shared His resurrection life. The most hidden aspect of myself is that which has been tortured and persecuted for the Life of the Lord Jesus Christ. The first “ split” off that one is the adult representation that protected the one who was persecuted for the Lord Jesus. This is the one who also tortured others. That aspect hated God for allowing the torment and tortures, while the one that was tortured, forgave, accepted and consented to be united with Jesus Christ in His power.
These polarized aspects must reconcile and accept that both are true or remain conflicted. They come together and are reconciled in Jesus Christ. The enemy’s strategy is to keep the two separated so that the whole person would not ever know the true resurrection life and power that resides within them as a Christian. As I am strengthened as a person, I see that I have the Life of the Lord Jesus Christ within me and the authority over the power of the lies and demons that have taken up residence within me. I have power and dominion over the demonic spirits that have harassed me and held me captive. I can take authority over these creatures in my life and command them to leave in the name of Jesus Christ. I do not have to live under the influence of sin, lies, death and demons. As I connect to the indwelling Life of Jesus Christ, I am behaving more and more like the person that God created me to be!
Romans 1:4
And who through the Spirit of holiness was declared with power to be the Son of God by his resurrection from the dead: Jesus Christ our Lord.
Romans 4:25
He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.
Romans 6:4
We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
Romans 6:5
If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection.
At the time we accepted Jesus as our Savior, we were identified with Him in His resurrection life. We have become partakers of that resurrection life. Parts of us have despised that life and persecuted ourselves because of what that Life has cost us. Reconciliation and conflict resolution occurs when the persecutors of the resurrection life that lives within our human spirit embraces the heart and will of the person. As was described in “Restoration Matters”, denial becomes the person that knows what has happened to the body.
Romans 8:11
And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.
Romans 8:34
Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died--more than that, who was raised to life--is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.
This is part of sanctification, learning to live the Christ life. It is His resurrected life in me that has the power to enable me to walk in new Life. We do not have that power apart from Him. In my old nature, I am an idolater. In this new nature, I am one with Jesus Christ. I have victory over the power of sin. That means that I have the power in me to conquer my bad habits and sin. As SRA/DID individuals, that power is released through connecting to the very essence of us that first knew Jesus as Savior.
Ephes. 1:3-23
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. [4] For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love [5] he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will-- [6] to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. [7] In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace [8] that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. [9] And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, [10] to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment--to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ. [11] In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, [12] in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. [13] And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, [14] who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession--to the praise of his glory. [15] For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, [16] I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. [17] I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. [18] I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, [19] and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, [20] which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, [21] far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. [22] And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, [23] which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.
Ephes. 2:1-10
As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, [2] in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. [3] All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. [4] But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, [5] made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved. [6] And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, [7] in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. [8] For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- [9] not by works, so that no one can boast. [10] For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
The book of Ephesians so aptly describes the resurrection life to which God has called us. We were once dead in our trespasses and our sins, i.e. idolatry, but now we can walk in the power of His resurrection life. Dissociation is a form of death and keeps us from that power of His indwelling life. Dissociation makes it difficult to connect to that life. Through connecting to the parts of our dissociated selves, that life can flow forth through us. Pray Ephesians 1: 17-23 for yourself so that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened to know the resurrection power that raised Jesus from the dead. We are seated with Him far above all principalities and powers. We have dominion over Satan. Satan does not want us to know about our union with Christ that has power over Him. We are like Moses as he cried out to God for deliverance when he faced the Red Sea ahead and the Egyptians behind. God asked Moses why was he crying out to Him when He had already given Moses all he needed to face any obstacle. Moses did not yet fully know and operate in that provision of God that He imparted. Moses finally lifted his staff and the Red Sea parted (refer to Exodus 14:10-31). We have also cried out to God for deliverance and I think God has asked “Why, my child, are you crying out to me when I have already given all you need for life and Godliness at the time you believed (2 Pet 1:3)?” We have to connect to that life and tell Satan and his minions “Be gone! In the name and authority of our Lord Jesus Christ”. God allows those around us to fight for us until we can become strengthened in the life of our Lord to stand in the power of His resurrection life for ourselves.
Learning to stand takes many forms. Some of the learning to stand not only includes saturation of our minds with God’s thoughts through His Word, but also fellowship with His people (Eph. 3:13-19). We cannot know His love fully nor the depths of His love towards us without other saints. God sets the orphans in families (PS 68:6). Through fellowship with His people, we can learn to attach to God in a right way.
Whatever we were programmed to attach to (demons, human satanic fathers or mothers, sexual objects, etc.) can be undone through experiencing the resurrection life in the God’s saints or family. T. Austin-Sparks speaks about in his writings the corporate life of the church and the only way we can know God’s fullness is through being corporately related. We can learn to internalize attachment by example of those around us who express unconditional love to us. As unconditional agape love is expressed to us through the members of the Body of Jesus Christ, we experience first hand, resurrection life. Normal human growth requires receiving this unconditional love as an infant. None of us with a history of SRA/DID developed normally nor did we have normal attachments to healthy human beings. As we see healthy examples of resurrection life through God’s people, we see outwardly an example and learn to connect to that life inside and attach to ourselves. As infants, we attached to whatever the cult wanted us to attach to (phallic objects, love-hatebonds, trauma, demons, etc.). Through being rightly related to the resurrection life of Jesus Christ in God’s people, we learn to attach to ourselves. Healthy attachment, growing in God’s Word, and maturity give us the strength to look at what has happened to us and the ability to attach internally to ourselves.
Philip. 2:9-10
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, [10] that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
Philip. 3:10
I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,
Philip. 3:21
Who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.
Jesus Christ is exalted to the highest place that man can occupy. He is there as man! And we are seated with Him in that sphere or highest dimension (Eph. 1:20-23, 2:6; Col. 3:1-4). I always like to ask each survivor and the persons working with survivors this question: “ Did you ever ask or tell God that you wanted to know Him fully and to follow Him fully?” Every person I have asked that has unhesitatingly said “Yes!” That is Phil. 3:10. I believe that through SRA/DID being in the church, God is answering our heart cry to know Him, the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings. Of course, we did not understand that when we said “Yes” to God, we also said “Yes” to the rest of the verse that included sharing in the fellowship of His sufferings! I think that we knew in a sense that it did mean suffering to know God fully in the power of His resurrection. We cannot know God apart from sharing with Him in His sufferings. We did not know exactly what or even just how much!! Like Joni Tada, I echo her words when she said that she would not trade one day of walking for knowing her Lord the way she does through her suffering. Likewise, I would not trade one day of abuse for knowing the Lord in the way that has come through being united with Him in His death and resurrection. Not that the abuse or suffering is the issue, but knowing Jesus Christ’s life in and through the suffering is what is of eternal value. How many of you would echo this? If you can’t, then you need to connect to that life that knows Him within and stop resisting and kicking against the goads, as Jesus Christ told Saul of Tarsus before He changed him into Paul. It is the resurrection life of Jesus Christ that turns ashes into gold! Do not fall short of all that God wants you to discover about Him (Phil 3:7-11; Heb. 3:19)!
Colossians 1:15 ff states that ALL things will ultimately be reconciled in Jesus Christ ( *this does not mean “universally reconciled”).
15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19 For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. 21 Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. 22 But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation-- 23 if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.
We are reconciled to God, washed clean, partakers of holiness, and without blemish through what Jesus Christ did for us on the cross. So why, you ask, is there all the difficulty in our lives, the pain, the torment and disorder? Because we do not yet believe nor are fully connected to what God truly has done for us. Nor are we behaving in that very life. Satan knows that if we ever fully connect with our true selves (OCHI) and the resurrection life that is in Christ Jesus, Satan’s ultimate overthrow is hastened. He has no power over us as we act out of the source of our OCHI. Our only protection against the wiles of the enemy is full connection with the resurrection life that indwells us.
Col 1:20
and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.
Jesus Christ has reconciled all things in Himself on the cross. That is where our life can connect and that is where we have true healing. It is easier for some to agree that yes, I am an idolater, I am in pride, I am a very wicked person and deserving of hell, judgment, and eternal damnation. But can you see that God has reconciled you in the cross of Jesus Christ? We are completely forgiven, washed clean by the power of His shed blood and now have the right to experience Life.
Col 1:21
Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. 22 But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.
We are free from accusation i.e. the Accuser of the brethren. We are free from condemnation. Now of course if we are still active in rituals and active in self-destructive behavior such as going to rituals, anorexia, bulimea, drunkenness, pornography or other sinful lifestyles, there is an element of condemnation until we are walking in the power and strength of His life that frees us from the current sin that keeps us in bondage.
Col 1:11
being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully 12giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. 13For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, 14in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
God has forgiven us of ALL our sins. He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness. How many of us actually believe this? I still wrestle with this one. God must give us revelation and show us where we are not believing nor walking in the very reality that he has ALREADY rescued us from the dominion of darkness. Why do we continue to get accessed? That is a good question and one that I personally have struggled with. I believe to the degree that we have not fully returned to the Lord and obeyed Him with all our heart and soul according to Deut 28 we are still captive (Deut. 30:3). On the other hand, if we take advances in God’s kingdom and finally make a stand, we are a BIG target for Satan. Because He is a poor loser, he does not like to lose his place in us. So Satan fights very hard and very tenaciously. So, then we may be accessed because we ARE taking a stand and making progress in God’s kingdom. If we are accessed, it could mean that we ARE taking a stand and that we also have remaining “ground” for Satan to access.
Just like when he asked Jesus’ permission to sift Peter. It was because Peter did not know his own heart and thought he COULD stand completely and undeniably for God. Peter WAS following God fully with his whole heart to the best of his ability. But, because he did not yet know himself, he was “accessed” by the enemy. He was sifted like wheat. Jesus Christ knew and warned Peter. Yet Peter did not take heed. God used that incident of Peter’s failure in his life to “child-train him” (Heb 12:4-13). Peter WAS all-out forGod. The enemy wanted to crush Peter to thwart God’s purpose for building His church on “the Rock”. Peter was targeted because he did want God’s full purpose in his life. It was the reality of the resurrection of Christ that restored Peter to right standing. It was the cross that “destroyed” any false idea that Peter had in himself. The reality of the resurrection established God’s purpose in Peter.
After age 25, I believe the reason for my being accessed was because I was proclaiming to be “all out for God” like Peter. I had ground of idolatry and pride remaining because of unknown dissociative issues and the enemy for a time had his way. I made all sorts of vows for God, just like Peter. I think that God ultimately uses each accessing to confront us, to test our hearts, and to ask “do we really want God on His terms?” “Is God really worth the suffering and losing all that we have in this world?” “Do we fear God more than man?” When we acknowledge the heart cry that has been buried deep within us to know god fully and that answers these questions with a whole-hearted YES and AMEN, then I think the enemy is on the run. Satan does not want a Christian operating in the FULL value of what God has given to us in His Son. We have power over Satan when we fully connect to that power and realization that God has given us through forgiveness (Col. 1:11-14).
It is a great dilemma for each one as to why we are accessed. It really is a matter about which we should be flat on our faces before God and ask Him “why”? It is not just one neat and tidy answer; but some of it generally is connected with idolatry, pride, fear and internal protection of “the Christian” on one hand and making advances for God’s kingdom on the other. It also may be related to that aspect of us that lived life in the Luciferian culture. At the time we wanted Jesus Christ in our lives, many people felt hopeless that He could really make a difference. As small children, to follow God fully felt uterly impossible. Many were tortured because of wanting to know Jesus Christ. Some created “Christian” aspects. But the dilemma remained: we were still raised in a Luciferian environment. It has been my experience that a very large part of our core selves at the new birth could not live a Christian life so continued to follow the Luciferian culture. That aspect of ourselves does not relate to the fact that going to rituals is idolatrous. A part of ourselves was extensively groomed in a culture that worshiped Satan. Deep attachment issues may reside in the deepest core self that may be linked with demons, demonized humans or objects. These objects filled an emotional need that was met as an infant or very young child.
Our Christian selves may condemn that core aspect of ourselves as idolatrous. As Christians, we may need to connect with that truth. God does not condemn us for living and being raised in that environment. However, now we are held responsible for our actions as one adult person. If anyone is experiencing the cursing as described in Deut. 28 and not the blessing, such as fleeing from our enemies verse 25 and the enemy is not fleeing from us verse 8, then aspects of ourselves may be still connected in idolatry (Deut. 27). By facing this aspect of ourselves, we connect with the truth of who we were (Col. 3:7). It is our responsibility to know the truth (Eph 5:13).
It really behooves us to constantly be asking the Lord “What right does the enemy have over me?” “Is there any area of my life that God cannot bless?” “Where in me do I not have the fear of the Lord?” “I want to love the Lord my God with my whole heart, mind, will, soul, and body” (Deut. 30). I choose to do so by faith. Right now, all of me. As I do so Lord, You show me where my heart is captive and not able to know this choice experientially.” As we make choices, daily, to love the Lord our God with our whole heart, He has promised to make us complete. We do not have D.I.D. as an excuse to NOT love God with our ALL our heart. As we pray this back to Him, He is faithful to do it. ( see Deut 30:1-11)
Deut. 30:1-20
When all these blessings and curses I have set before you come upon you and you take them to heart wherever the LORD your God disperses you among the nations, 2 and when you and your children return to the LORD your God and obey him with all your heart and with all your soul according to everything I command you today, 3 then the LORD your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you and gather you again from all the nations where he scattered you. 4 Even if you have been banished to the most distant land under the heavens, from there the LORD your God will gather you and bring you back. 5 He will bring you to the land that belonged to your fathers, and you will take possession of it. He will make you more prosperous and numerous than your fathers. 6 The LORD your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live. 7 The LORD your God will put all these curses on your enemies who hate and persecute you. 8 You will again obey the LORD and follow all his commands I am giving you today. 9 Then the LORD your God will make you most prosperous in all the work of your hands and in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your land. The LORD will again delight in you and make you prosperous, just as he delighted in your fathers, 10 if you obey the LORD your God and keep his commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the Law and turn to the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul. 11 Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. 12 It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, "Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" 13 Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, "Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" 14 No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it. 15 See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. 16 For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess. 17 But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, 18 I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess. 19 This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
God’s word says that what He commands us is not too difficult or beyond our reach (vs. 11). We can choose by faith to love Him with ALL our heart and THEN He said that He would gather us up and make us whole (vs. 3-6). And He will cause our enemies to be cursed (vs. 7). So, it is really God that we must fear, not what Satan can do to us. It is God who can keep us safe, bless us, or if we turn from Him it is God that will destroy us (vs. 18). Many parts of us believed that we were a curse and it was very hopeless. We believed a lie that God could not redeem us. The more we have been conformed to the image of Satan, the more we believe that it is truly hopeless. Satan does not want us to connect to the reality of God’s resurrection power and His life that is within us. He wants to keep us in denial (which is really deception) (refer to Restoration by Tom and Diane Hawkins). We, as God’s children, are actually trillionaires: we have a great inheritance in Christ Jesus! He has the power to set the captives free, yet we are not operating in the very reality of this so great salvation on our behalf. I believe that this is Satan’s greatest work: to keep believers held captive and from ever realizing that we have the power residing within us the the person of the Holy Spirit to conquer sin and death. Denial is part of this deception in order to keep the satanic strongholds hidden within. If we really get a hold of what God fully realized on the cross and in His resurrection on our behalf, we will cry out “why did it take me so long to realize this?” I could have been “spending” this inheritance now instead of living like a pauper. Satan delights that we are God’s children living in spiritual poverty, constantly living on death’s row, living in the gutter of lies, sin, shame and unbelief. Instead, God would have us hold our heads high (not with self-pride) and proclaim that we are the true children of the true King. That is humility, to be who God created us to be and to do what He created us to do.
Col 2:13-14
When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, 14 having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. 15And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.
God has already triumphed over the hosts of darkness and evil through what He did through Jesus Christ on the cross. That is the only power that is greater than Satan’s. We cannot fight these principalities in our own flesh, through our own means. I think that we have tried to fight them through dissociation and denial, through our sin, self-mutilation, eating disorders, and drugs. But all those things are Satan’s methods and do not work! Only when we connect with the true heart that Jesus gave us and choose to follow Him no matter the cost, can we have victory!!
Col 3:1-11
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. 5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 11 Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.
Jesus Christ unites all the “unseemly” parts and the “good” parts internally. We are seated with Christ at the right hand of God. So, we are to set our minds on things above. When we really begin to connect with what Jesus has done for us on the cross and in resurrection, we will see that we are truly hidden with Christ in God. We do not need to have the fig leaves of dissociation, denial, or any other form of self-protection covering our shame and sin. All we have and need is in Christ. The realization of what He has accomplished for us is in hidden in the OCHI. To the degree that I remain dissociated, I believe is the degree that I am not walking in nor believing all that He has done for me.
Hebrews 11:35
Women received back their dead, raised to life again. Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection.
Throughout all scripture, examples exist of those who were united with Christ in His sufferings so that they might gain a better resurrection. 1 Cor. 15:40 FF speaks of the different degrees of glory with Christ in His resurrection. To the degree we are united together in death and resurrection is the degree that we will shine in eternity. For star differs from star in glory. So also is the resurrection of the dead (1 Cor 15:40-42). So it is worth connecting to all of ourselves that knows the truth of what happened, knows what happened the moment we believed in Jesus Christ as savior, and knows the truth of the cost to be a Christian. Yes, we have to own all the sinful deeds we performed through our bodies, willingly and unwillingly. We must connect to the truth and the resurrection life of our Lord Jesus Christ that lives within ourselves.
1 Peter 1:3
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
1 Peter 1:21
Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.
Rev. 1:18
I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive forever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.
The following excerpt from Fox’s Book of Martyrs depicts clearly that it has always been Satan’s goal to attempt to crush and annihilate the life of Jesus Christ within His people, the Church.
CHAPTER I
History of Christian Martyrs to the First General Persecutions Under Nero
Christ our Savior, in the Gospel of St. Matthew, hearing the confession of Simon Peter, who, first of all other, openly acknowledged Him to be the Son of God, and perceiving the secret hand of His Father therein, called him (alluding to his name) a rock, upon which rock He would build His Church so strong that the gates of hell should not prevail against it. In which words three things are to be noted: First, that Christ will have a Church in this world. Secondly, that the same Church should mightily be impugned, not only by the world, but also by the uttermost strength and powers of all hell. And, thirdly, that the same Church, notwithstanding the uttermost of the devil and all his malice, should continue.
Which prophecy of Christ we see wonderfully to be verified, insomuch that the whole course of the Church to this day may seem nothing else but a verifying of the said prophecy. First, that Christ hath set up a Church, needeth no declaration. Secondly, what force of princes, kings, monarchs, governors, and rulers of this world, with their subjects, publicly and privately, with all their strength and cunning, have bent themselves against this Church! And, thirdly, how the said Church, all this notwithstanding, hath yet endured and holden its own! What storms and tempests it hath overpast, wondrous it is to behold: for the more evident declaration whereof, I have addressed this present history, to the end, first, that the wonderful works of God in His Church might appear to His glory; also that, the continuance and proceedings of the Church, from time to time, being set forth, more knowledge and experience may redound thereby, to the profit of the reader and edification of Christian faith.
As it is not our business to enlarge upon our Savior’s history, either before or after His crucifixion, we shall only find it necessary to remind our readers of the discomfiture of the Jews by His subsequent resurrection. Although one apostle had betrayed Him; although another had denied Him, under the solemn sanction of an oath; and although the rest had forsaken Him, unless we may except “the disciple who was known unto the high-priest”; the history of His resurrection gave a new direction to all their hearts, and, after the mission of the Holy Spirit, imparted new confidence to their minds. The powers with which they were endued emboldened them to proclaim His name, to the confusion of the Jewish rulers, and the astonishment of Gentile proselytes.
And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins.
Do not deny the resurrection life that lives within. Yes, it has come at a great cost. We all have to answer the question, “Is knowing Jesus our Lord and Savior and His life worth the cost?” One day when we see His face we will cry out with joy “Yes, You have been worth it all, why did I even hesitate and hold back anything from You!” Let us not face Him that day and shrink from Him in shame as some will because we held back (2 Cor. 5:10; 1 John 2:28). Let us continue to press forward to know Him and the power of His resurrection (Phil 3:10). We can demonstrate this now by not fearing to face the real person (Hawkins 2001) and by not hiding behind ourselves. The resurrection life of Jesus Christ is all-powerful.
Pastor Richard Wurmbrand suffered at the hands of his tortures for fourteen years in Romania. This excerpt from Extreme Devotion (2001) describes his child-like faith in His savior:
“I once went to a circus and witnessed a most impressive scene. A sharpshooter place a burning candle on his wife’s head. He then stepped out of the center of the arena and, from quite a distance, shot the candle from off her head.
“After the show as over, I approached her and asked if she was ever afraid the arrow would strike her. She replied, ‘Why should I be? He was aiming at the candle, not at me.’”
When Pastor Wurmbrandt heard this story he thought, “Why should I be afraid of the torturers? They don’t aim at me. They may beat my body but my real being is Christ within. I am seated with him in heavenly places, and therefore they cannot touch my real person. From this incredible viewpoint I can look down and see the futility of their efforts.”
Pastor Wurmbrandt lived through years of suffering and had neared death many times. But he was encouraged with this simple lesson and even flourished spiritually because he knew his place with Christ was secure, no matter what happened to his body.
Persecution, though indescribably painful, has its limits. Neither physical torment nor emotional trauma can destroy the deepest parts of who we are. What we carry on the inside is the most valuable part of ourselves—our souls. Christ’s Spirit lives within us and protects our soul from emotional and physical harm. True, our enemies may strike us and even kill our bodies. However, when our enemies take a swipe at us, they are really maligning the name of Christ—the one who lives within. And He can never die again. However personal and pointed the opposition, it is really part of a bigger picture. The battle may involve us, but it concerns an overarching war between Good and Evil, God and Satan (italics mine).
This battle is not about us individually. A bigger purpose is as stake (Rom. 8:16-17; 2 Cor. 4:7-12; Eph. 1:3-12, 22-23; 2:7; 3:3-12; 4:13; Col. 1:25-27; 2:9; 2 Tim. 2:10-12; 1 Pet. 1:9; 5:10). What is our response going to be to God’s eternal purpose and to Jesus Christ’s redemptive work on our behalf individually and corporately? This paper is a feeble attempt to encourage all who are weighed down by the sin that has entrapped us. The resurrection life of our Lord Jesus Christ that is within every believer is the reason behind all the satanic hatred and assault in our lives. His life is also the source of unifying us and making us whole. It is not as simple as it sounds, because all Christians must come to face who we are apart from the impartation of the resurrection life of Jesus Christ in our lives (Rom. 7:24-25). By faith, we must realize that the Christian life is not difficult; it is impossible, save the One that lives through us (Rom. 8:1- 2). May God bless each one in your journey for wholeness in Christ! May we not stop short of the goal of knowing Jesus Christ our Lord, fully (Phil 3:10-14)!
*Doug Riggs coined the phrase “Original Christian Heart and Identity (OCHI)”.
References:
Friesen, J.G., Wilder, E.J., Bierling, A.M.,Koepcke, R., & Poole, M. (1999). The Life Model: Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You: The Essentials of Christian Living. Van Nuys, CA: Shepherd’s House.
Hawkins, T. (2001). Restoration Matters, 7 (Issue 1).
Voice of Martyrs (2001). Extreme Devotion. W. Publishing Group. All scripture cited using New American Standard.
Special Thanks for editorial input:
Doug and Lori Riggs who spent countless hours assisting me in joining with my OCHI and provided editorial comments for this paper.
Kim and Karen Campbell whose influence on my life as friends and fellow laborers in Christ Jesus has impacted me as a Christian and provided editorial comments for this paper.
Suggested Reading on Living the Resurrection Life
Austin-Sparks, T. (1985). The Great Transition from One Humanity to Another. Tulsa, OK: Emmanuel Church.
McDonough, M. (1982). Divine Life. Goleta, CA: Christian Books.
Stanford, M. J. (1983). The Complete Green Letters. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan. Thomas, W. I. (1979). If I Perish, I Perish. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
Thomas, W. I. (1964). The Mystery of Godliness. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan. Thomas, W. I. (1990). The Saving Life of Christ. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
If you would like a pdf version of this article, click here.
For more information by Doug Riggs (Sally’s pastor, now gone to be with the Lord), click here.
If you are seeking more information or help: survivors click here and pastors/leaders click here.
